


RPF FML TMI

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Community: LiteraryFanFiction, F/M, Fanfiction, Humor, In-Universe RPF, Meta, Mild Smut, Reader-Insert, Romance, Sex, in-universe fanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 11:27:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3172572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy will live to regret introducing Thor to the internet. Or maybe she'll just live to regret writing that one story...</p>
            </blockquote>





	RPF FML TMI

She was just about to snap the picture when she heard the knock at the door.

“What is it?” she asked, trying her best to sound bored.

“Darcy?” he rumbled, “Might I have a word with you?”

“Sure. Just a minute,” she mumbled, dropping her phone and closing the website. Then she threw her shirt on and made for the door. It wasn't like anyone hadn't seen her run around in her underwear, but that was different: What happens in Drunk-gard stays in Drunk-gard. Sober now, she couldn't have gentleman callers in her room half-dressed, even if they were hunkier than a butcher's display.

As she opened the door, in he walked, towering over her like a majestic, homeless statue. “Darcy, have you been perusing the depository of prompts for writing on that website we frequent?” His voice was low as always, but this phrase was spoken lilting and high by his standards. She was so busted. She was so screwed.

“Whatever makes you say that, Thor?” She tried not to glance back at the screen.

“I have been browsing that archive of prose this evening, and I have found a striking piece. Would you care to hear it?”

She tried not to turn red. “Sure, whatever floats your boat.”

He cleared his throat and pulled the phone from his pocket, and recited from her piece, serious, imparting upon it a gravity she never meant. “The Captain caresses your cheek, his gentle wonderbread hands brushing your jawbone lightly.” He cleared his throat. “You lean in to kiss him, and it seems as though only you are breathing, your hot breath reflecting off his face. His lips are cold, and you wish only to warm them. However, when you open your eyes, the allusion has faded,” he grumbled, emphasizing the word more than she would have, “and your lover has raven hair and a wicked grin.”

At long last he looked up at her, lips parted just enough to bare teeth. She thought she might throw up.

“I can explain.”

“If I wanted what you people call horse-shit I might go visit Sleipnir on Asgard, Darcy.” He moved to throw the phone away, but instead stuck it in his pocket. “But if you must debase my friend and my brother so, you should at least respect your own language.”

“My... language?”

“I do not even speak your English; the All-Tongue assists me with your words. When you spell the word you used with your letter A, it refers to a kind of reference. An illusion with an I is an appearance that is not true.”

“I wrote smut about your brother and you're correcting my grammar?”

“You give me hope for him if he returns from the grave once more. But next time, do not leave your fantasies where I might find them.”

“Or else...?"

He turned and left the room, stopping in the threshold and looking back as he left. “You share a wall with Jane, do you not?”


End file.
